Couples Counseling in Tucson: Healing, Growth, and Connection
Feeling Stuck in the Same Painful Patterns?
“My partner and I just had another fight. We get into the same painful cycle over and over again, and it plays out the same way every time. It’s exhausting and it hurts. We have good times together, for sure, but when stressful issues come up, it’s almost as if we change into different people and our love goes out the window. I feel exhausted, sad, lonely, and ashamed about all of this. Sometimes I wonder whether we're really meant for each other, but I feel sad when I think of ending the relationship, and I’m not ready to call it quits yet.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many thoughtful, caring couples in Tucson find themselves caught in painful cycles of conflict, distance, or resentment. The love is still there, but it feels buried under layers of hurt and disconnection. You’ve tried self-help books or advice from friends, but the problems feel too complicated to solve on your own. That’s where couples counseling, marriage counseling, and couples therapy in Tucson can help. (These terms all refer to the same process.)
Why Couples Struggle in Relationships
Even couples who love each other deeply can get stuck in patterns that feel impossible to break. You may find yourselves:
Having the same argument over and over again
Feeling distant, disconnected, or lonely in your relationship
Falling into a pursue-withdraw cycle, where one partner shuts down and the other pushes harder
Struggling with resentment that lingers long after the fight is over
Wondering if you’re really meant for each other but not ready to give up
These struggles don’t happen because of a lack of love or effort. More often, they come from unhealed wounds and learned survival patterns from earlier in life. When stress or conflict arises, those old wounds get triggered, and we react in ways that protect us in the moment but hurt the relationship long-term.
How Couples Counseling in Tucson Can Help
I’m Jacob Gotwals, a Licensed Professional Counselor in Tucson. I use Relational Life Therapy (RLT) to help couples resolve resentment, heal the trauma that drives conflict, and build effective relationship skills. My goal is to help you and your partner move beyond the painful cycles you’re stuck in and create the loving, intimate relationship you both want.
Moving Beyond Neutrality in Couples Therapy
Traditional therapy often stays neutral, avoiding taking sides. But neutrality can sometimes allow unhealthy patterns and power imbalances to continue unchecked. Relational Life Therapy is different.
In RLT, I’m direct and compassionate; I won’t shy away from naming what’s really happening. Sometimes that means saying something like, “Partner A, you’re being unreasonable — and Partner B, you’re being even more unreasonable, here’s why.”
Unlike the 50-50 approach that assumes both partners are equally responsible in every conflict, RLT acknowledges that power imbalances exist in relationships. These imbalances can leave one partner feeling silenced or overpowered.
RLT works to address these imbalances by:
Empowering the less dominant partner to find their voice
Encouraging the more dominant partner to practice humility and soften
Creating a dynamic where both partners can show up as equals
This balance of directness and empathy promotes real change. It helps couples move beyond cycles of blame, distance, or resentment into a relationship that feels more fair, safe, and connected.
Healing, Repair, and Growth in Couples and Marriage Therapy
Relational Life Therapy doesn’t just focus on “fighting fair.” It helps you and your partner:
Heal underlying trauma that fuels conflict
Resolve resentment that erodes trust and intimacy
Learn practical relationship skills that deepen love and respect
I also integrate trauma-focused methods like EMDR therapy and guided imagery with ideal parent figures. These approaches support couples in reprocessing old wounds so you can approach each other with more compassion, patience, and openness.
When couples engage in this work, they often find that:
Conflicts become less charged and more manageable
Resentment fades as genuine repair happens
Communication grows clearer and more respectful
Intimacy and affection begin to return
What to Expect in Couples Counseling
When you start counseling with me, here’s the general process:
Understanding your story – We’ll explore your history as a couple, the patterns you struggle with, and your goals.
Identifying deeper wounds and imbalances – Together, we’ll uncover the survival strategies and power dynamics that keep you stuck.
Healing trauma – I’ll help each of you compassionately connect with wounded and neglected parts of yourself so you can heal. As you do, you’ll become more grounded in your wise adult self and more capable of vulnerability and mature intimacy.
Learning new skills – I’ll coach you in real time as you practice healthier ways of relating.
Integration and growth – Over time, you’ll notice more trust, intimacy, and mutual respect in your relationship.
Is Couples Counseling Right for You?
Counseling can help if you and your partner are:
Stuck in repetitive arguments or patterns that never resolve
Feeling distant, resentful, or disconnected
Struggling with trust, intimacy, or communication issues
Committed to the relationship but unsure how to repair it
Ready to look honestly at patterns, heal old wounds, and create a more balanced relationship
Begin Couples Counseling in Tucson
It takes courage to reach out for help. Many couples wait until their struggles feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to wait until things get worse. With support, healing is possible.
If you and your partner are ready to break free from painful cycles, address power imbalances, and create the relationship you truly want, I’d be honored to guide you.
👉 Book a free consultation today to learn more about how couples counseling, marriage counseling, or couples therapy in Tucson can help you and your partner reconnect, heal, and grow.
FAQs About Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling, and Couples Therapy in Tucson
What makes Relational Life Therapy different from other approaches?
Unlike many forms of therapy that stay neutral, RLT is compassionate and direct. I don’t simply sit back while you argue—I step in, name destructive patterns, and help you both shift them. RLT also addresses power imbalances, empowering the less dominant partner to find their voice while helping the more dominant partner practice humility.
Do you take sides in couples therapy?
No, but I’m also not neutral in the traditional sense. If one partner is dominating the dynamic, I’ll name it directly and help balance the relationship. The goal isn’t blame—it’s repair and connection.
What if my partner doesn’t want to attend couples counseling?
If your partner doesn’t want to do couples counseling, you can start individual relationship counseling and make meaningful progress on your own.
How long does couples counseling take?
Every couple is different. Some begin to notice improvements after a few sessions, while others choose longer-term work to heal deeper wounds and solidify lasting change.
What issues can couples and marriage counseling in Tucson help with?
I work with couples on recurring conflict, distance and disconnection, resentment, power struggles, intimacy concerns, parenting differences, trust issues, and more.
Will counseling tell us whether to stay together or separate?
No. The goal isn’t to make that decision for you. Counseling helps you heal patterns, repair trust, and gain clarity so you can decide what’s best for you and your relationship.
How does couples therapy address power imbalances?
In RLT, I help the less dominant partner build confidence and voice their needs while supporting the more dominant partner in softening, listening, and practicing humility. This shift creates fairness and deeper connection for both.
Is online couples and marriage counseling available in Tucson?
Yes. I provide online counseling, so you can attend from the comfort of your home.
What if our fights are about “small things”?
Most recurring arguments aren’t really about the surface issue. They’re often connected to deeper hurts or survival patterns. Counseling helps you uncover what’s beneath the surface so you can finally break the cycle.
How do we get started?
Simply schedule your free consultation. We’ll talk about your needs, goals, and how couples counseling, marriage counseling, or couples therapy in Tucson can help.