Therapy for Relationship Anxiety

Online therapy for Arizona, Colorado, Florida, and New Mexico residents, with licensed therapist in Tucson, Jacob Gotwals, MA.

Do you often feel anxious in relationships?

Do you anxiously seek emotional closeness with others?

Do you often worry about your relationships, fearing abandonment or rejection?
Do you need frequent reassurance from your partner about their love and commitment?
Does being away from your partner trigger anxiety and distress?
Do you have the urge to be in constant contact with your partner?
Do you become jealous easily, fearing that your partner will leave you for someone else?
Do you feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster, with intense emotions and frequent mood swings?
Do you have trouble setting healthy boundaries, often sacrificing your needs to please your partner?
Do you have low self-esteem, doubting your worth and seeking external validation to feel good about yourself?

If so, you may have an anxious attachment style.

People with an anxious attachment style often worry about their relationships and fear abandonment, craving closeness and reassurance from partners while feeling insecure and doubting that they are worthy of love.

Having an anxious attachment style can lead to stress, anxiety, and problems in your relationships.

There is hope for healing!

Therapy with me can help you develop a more secure attachment style, in which you’ll feel more confident that your needs will be met (even when you’re separated from your partner). You’ll have a more positive view of yourself and others, believing you are worthy of love and capable of having healthier relationships. You’ll be able to communicate your needs more openly and assertively, express yourself more constructively, and navigate conflict without undue fear of rejection. And, you’ll be able to regulate your emotions better and stay more calm in difficult situations.

How I Can Help

In therapy with me, we will explore the possible origins of your anxious attachment style and identify any attachment issues from childhood that need healing. We will design imaginary ideal parent figures that are just right for you, who can give you the love and nurturing you need (that you may not have received from your childhood caregivers). I will lead you through guided imagery visualizations in which you’ll imagine you’re a young child having positive, healing interactions with these ideal parent figures. I will provide support as you process any emotions that come up.

Over time, you’ll gradually internalize the supportive, nurturing qualities of these ideal parent figures; this will help activate your mind’s natural capacity for healthy relationships. We’ll also explore issues that arise in your current relationships, and I’ll help you learn skills for reducing anxiety and improving communication and boundaries in these relationships.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Your attachment style is the way you relate to your partner in a close relationship.
You may have developed an anxious attachment style (also known as an anxious-preoccupied attachment style) based on your early childhood experiences and relationships with your parents or caregivers. Your parents may have been inconsistently available or responsive to your needs, leading you to feel insecure and anxious about whether others will be there for you when you need them. You may have experienced emotional neglect or felt ignored or dismissed by your parents, leaving you feeling unimportant and leading to a need for validation and reassurance from others. You may have experienced traumatic events or significant losses at a young age, such as the death of a parent or caregiver, divorce, or separation, leading to anxiety and fear of abandonment in relationships. Or, you may simply have been genetically predisposed to developing an anxious attachment style.
The ideal parent figure approach to treating attachment disturbances was developed by Daniel P. Brown, an associate clinical professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School.